Life in America

The news;
A young mother had her car repossessed with her toddler inside. No laws were broken, the baby was trespassing.
Pilot Captain Scully, an American Hero, celebrates crash landing his Airbus in the river.
A bag of cocaine is found at NASA, on the Discovery. Every Late Night Host will have something to say about that. Why wouldn't NASA have drug problems>>? They have astronauts wearing diapers to drive long distances non-stop so they can quickly deal with their adversaries in Love. Sounds like substance abuse to me. Especially the weak bladder part.
Should over-weight teens be allowed to have Bariatic surgery? ( Tie their stomach) Yes, just as bald old men should have hair transplanted and face-lifts.
Headline News is broadcasting, in America, a computer enhanced picture of Osama Bin Laden accounting for age , with and without the beard..........Just in case you spot him at Jack in the Box, or he rents the place next door. Are you kidding? Does HLN think Osama is hiding in America now? C'mon man ! Terrorize those sheep.
NASA is drug testing everybody with access to the Discovery. Might be a good time to apply.
Haiti is demolished. The President and the First Lady Pledge help and plea for donations. The military has a carrier off the coast. Troops are passing out water, food, medical supplies. The President is promising a long term commitment to help get Haitians back on their feet. He has already committed 100 Million in Humanitarian aid. Good. Now how about New Orleans?
I sold my old Jeep with three hundred thousand miles on it for five hundred dollars and bought one with only 150,000 miles on it for eight hundred dollars. Am I a lucky sombitch, or what? C'mon man!