A Hard Month to Write

Six months out of the mountains of Southern Oregon now, I'd like to say I'm Happy. I'm not. I miss the mountains,the forest, the serenity, my cabin (no longer), the rain, and the friends I made in my three and a half years in Cave Junction . I'm homeless in Sacramento. (renting). I own land, but it's bare land, and you can't do the things in Sacramento county, California, that you could in Josephine county,Oregon. My property taxes are four times the amount they were in Oregon. There is no sales tax in Oregon, California is almost 10%...... My wife is in Sacramento. And there is the essence of this paragraph: Despite all the reasons why I want to be in Oregon (not to mention my 82 year old mother in Grants Pass) , when my wife says she wants to spend the rest of her life with me, I cannot leave. I cannot take the heartbreak in returning to Oregon and living without her. Again. ( She can take the Heartbreak of not going though??????? ) It is heartbreaking to live in the city when I know of the peace and beauty of the Illinois valley. I love the Land of the Outlaw. Heartache.

My youngest son, now a Berkeley graduate, was hired by a company called "Test Masters" to teach private classes, twice a week, on preparing for and taking the LSAT (Law School Aptitude Test). Justin studied six months for the LSAT and did very well. Test Masters flies him to different cities, Pays for lodging, food, transportation, and a handsome salary for the class hours he's teaching. The next two months he will be in Honolulu. On Wednesday I'm going to Honolulu.

I'm hoping that a week in Hawaii will give me a brighter, cheerier outlook on life. I need a boost. I know the real problem in my life is I can never be fourteen again; I'll never look nineteen again; Men in my family don't age gracefully, and after seven years of being retired, I need a job; a purpose. I need a life so bad that I'm about to return to Oregon and build another cabin to have a purpose, (warm and dry). Of course, then I have to ask myself, " why did I ever leave"? Oh, because I needed a life. And of course, for love. Seems like I've been running this circle for years now. Maybe a mid-Pacific perspective will help. Anyway, if the plane goes down, everybody pray that I'm having the time of my life adventuring as a "Castaway", and I'll get back to you when I figure out my escape from the doldrums of "purposelessness" and Brad-island.

London is next. My oldest son, Bradley Garrett has one more year at University College London, and I want to visit in the rain this winter before he returns to America. Wear my Sacramento Kings jacket, maybe bait some terrorists looking for Americans. Maybe try and convince my son to return. Aloha.

PS I am still interested in that five acres in O'brien and will be up to discuss the piece when I return, and before the end of the year.

The Answer

I remember touring Hearst castle when I was in the army. Afterwards, more than any other impression I took away from the tour, my overriding feeling was "how could anybody be so wealthy.?" ......................................So where's the limit? How rich do you think one man should be, Needs to be, before it's excessive?

How much money can our politicians in Washington squander before Americans, whom get poorer everyday, revolt and demand to keep their money? Whom decides who gets what? I don't get to pull those strings.

I already suggested closing the borders and internalizing American money for Americans. I think that's a better plan than reducing America to a borderless, third world country. Over time desperation will set in . Then, historically the answer will be revolution. 

I am selfish. I had the least growing up of all my friends, not only in family assets, but in homelife, upbringing, structure, guidance. I lived unrestrained and reckless until I was fifty (selfish). I've made lots of mistakes, paid and still pay for them, and only bothered with worrying about money in the last few years. I'm not satisfied. I need more money to develop my land. If it wasn't for "codes" I'd spend 15 k, drill a well , and live in a box there now. Warm, dry and fed is what a man needs. Not much more than a cave and a hunting field. The point;.................... Everyman must decide his own greed, but when the Greedy are insatiable and the masses are not warm dry and fed,..............the masses are still being fed. When hunger sets in control will be lost.It is the Middle Class whom are being decimated by the policies of our leaders now. Losses are being socialized while profits are privatized. I say go back to the 2% whom made the profits and let them pay for the losses. The poor are poor, you can't get blood from a turnup. It is those in the middle, people like you who are getting screwed by the top 2%. Capiche' ?The poor, those whom have given up, the third generation welfare babies, the bums on Social Security who never paid in a dime, the bums who did pay and then were retired for "issues", the scum of the earth whom won't support themselves as long as they can get a free ride, THEY won't take your money or reduce the price of your goods or services. No, it is those whom profit from your demise that you should be angry at. Those whom send work overseas and force the American standard of living down. The poor are already poor. I say take every dime going to Pakistan, or Afghanistan, Iraq etc. and give it to them, me , the american infrastucture, or for jobs for one of the three. Fuck the 2% and their wars for profit.!I imagine you have a wonderful life. From what I can discern, there is only you and your wife, and the two of you are successful. Why be angry.? I can only imagine why, and then I could be totally wrong. Let me say, " life is wonderful, every miserable moment, if you remember that, life is wonderful". I hope things are good. If I can help out, I would be glad to offer my time and labor for free. You realize I don't live in the real world, don't you? I have no schedule. I receive two pension checks. ( not enough money for anything but being warm, dry, fed and a little adventure) I have NO debt. Don't live with my wife. (but see her almost every day) (if I like ) I do whatever I desire and have no demands on my time or person. Both my sons are through University, successful, independant. I drift like the feather in Forrest Gump. What can I do for you ?