A Hard Month to Write

Six months out of the mountains of Southern Oregon now, I'd like to say I'm Happy. I'm not. I miss the mountains,the forest, the serenity, my cabin (no longer), the rain, and the friends I made in my three and a half years in Cave Junction . I'm homeless in Sacramento. (renting). I own land, but it's bare land, and you can't do the things in Sacramento county, California, that you could in Josephine county,Oregon. My property taxes are four times the amount they were in Oregon. There is no sales tax in Oregon, California is almost 10%...... My wife is in Sacramento. And there is the essence of this paragraph: Despite all the reasons why I want to be in Oregon (not to mention my 82 year old mother in Grants Pass) , when my wife says she wants to spend the rest of her life with me, I cannot leave. I cannot take the heartbreak in returning to Oregon and living without her. Again. ( She can take the Heartbreak of not going though??????? ) It is heartbreaking to live in the city when I know of the peace and beauty of the Illinois valley. I love the Land of the Outlaw. Heartache.

My youngest son, now a Berkeley graduate, was hired by a company called "Test Masters" to teach private classes, twice a week, on preparing for and taking the LSAT (Law School Aptitude Test). Justin studied six months for the LSAT and did very well. Test Masters flies him to different cities, Pays for lodging, food, transportation, and a handsome salary for the class hours he's teaching. The next two months he will be in Honolulu. On Wednesday I'm going to Honolulu.

I'm hoping that a week in Hawaii will give me a brighter, cheerier outlook on life. I need a boost. I know the real problem in my life is I can never be fourteen again; I'll never look nineteen again; Men in my family don't age gracefully, and after seven years of being retired, I need a job; a purpose. I need a life so bad that I'm about to return to Oregon and build another cabin to have a purpose, (warm and dry). Of course, then I have to ask myself, " why did I ever leave"? Oh, because I needed a life. And of course, for love. Seems like I've been running this circle for years now. Maybe a mid-Pacific perspective will help. Anyway, if the plane goes down, everybody pray that I'm having the time of my life adventuring as a "Castaway", and I'll get back to you when I figure out my escape from the doldrums of "purposelessness" and Brad-island.

London is next. My oldest son, Bradley Garrett has one more year at University College London, and I want to visit in the rain this winter before he returns to America. Wear my Sacramento Kings jacket, maybe bait some terrorists looking for Americans. Maybe try and convince my son to return. Aloha.

PS I am still interested in that five acres in O'brien and will be up to discuss the piece when I return, and before the end of the year.