On Vices

I like to say, "Your vices catch you in your fifties and kill you in your sixties". I don't know from where that little witticism came. It might be original. Probably not. It's hard to think much that's said, hasn't been said before. ( Huh, John Lennon?) Or maybe my brother has repeated it in front of me. He tends to spout these "phrases of knowledge" quite often. He likes to sound wise by applying them whenever he can. I'm of the opinion he guides his logic-life by them. He likes to say, "Every man must measure his own greed", or "Save yourself, the world don't want to be saved'. Things like that. As if every man is the same and the witticisms he spouts apply to all. Condescending ass, ....a lot like me.
You know there's only two types of asses in the world: Those of us whom know it, and the real asses whom don't. I might be both.
Back to "Your vices catch you in your fifties and kill you in your sixties". Time to heed my own words and save my life. At least long enough to make some sort of last minute, midnight hour contribution to mankind. If possible. I'm 53 closing fast on 54. I have one Vice left in my life. I Quit smoking, snorting, gambling. I still cuss. I'm still loud. I ain't perfect but it don't seem to affect my health, so it's finally down to Cannabis. ( I am totally disregarding dietary considerations , of course) The last test of my desire for a healthier, saner life; Discontinuing the inhalation of Cannabis smoke.
Therefore it is incredibly unfortunate that I live smack dab in the middle of The State of Jefferson where inhaling Cannabis smoke is the custom and culture. Where growing the Cannabis to burn to inhale is the industry and economy of the area. Where the reggae band at the 4th of July Bash in Takilma throws joints to the dancers, and the tea served is made with mushrooms. Changing lifestyles here at the midnight hour will be a true test of desire...
My day is over. Only dissection can tell the damage done. "Any damn fool can quit when he's losing". That almost sounds like I think I came out ahead on the deal; I didn't. Very few of us get away without paying the price for our mistakes. Regardless, it's time to discard the final vices of my life and see if I've reined myself in in time ...while I can still breathe.
When I quit smoking16 years ago, I simply decided cigarettes were killing me. Stop or die. Easy choice and so was stopping. You don't do anything to stop smoking. It's harder to smoke; got to buy them , light them, etc., Stopping, piece of cake; Do nothing. Drugs were harder. I had to be miserable, barely surviving, digging out of the mud and re-building my world to remember what was important. I had to re-learn joy. It was necessary to go from over-sparked to no-spark so I could find natural spark. Thus' "Life is wonderful, Every miserable moment." ( Aren't you loving all these Franklin-ish antedotes ?) (Can antedote be used like this?)(Where's an attorney with an english degree when you need one?)
Alas, as much as I have enjoyed being an outlaw, As much as I have enjoyed inhaling the smoke of Cannabis, as much as I have enjoyed living in the State of Jefferson, I fear if I don't leave soon I may never get away from being young forever. Which means I won't live to a ripe old age. (105) Time to start drinking Wine.
No, I'll be keeping what's left of my stash in case I get flaky and change my mind, or fall off the wagon. These bouts of resolve normally only last until my cough disappears. Yet, time to heed my words...
I tell people all the time, "Your vices catch you in your fifties and kill you in your sixties", they look at me like, "Save yourself ...asshole". Obviously, the world don't want to be saved. Save Yourself.
It is Spring today. Winter ended this morning. Life is wonderful, every miserable moment.